


Fools of Us Both

by PolypusRegina



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: ...sort of, Bad Sex, M/M, Miscommunication, Oversensitive Hux, Virgin Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:16:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10127015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolypusRegina/pseuds/PolypusRegina
Summary: Somehow, Kylo had convinced them both that he was far more experienced than he was. His infatuation with Hux proved to be his downfall, running his mouth to boast about a sexual prowess he simply didn't have, and when the time came to prove it...he failed. Miserably.





	

Kylo had every intention of asking to stay the night. And he had little reason to believe Hux would refuse him. After all, their first time falling into bed together was supposed to be _special_ , wasn't it? Why spend the afterglow in an empty bed?

 

No, it was going to be perfect. He would prove to Hux that he was worthy of his affections, that he could be an attentive lover, that he deserved the time he gave him.

 

But it didn't go like that.

 

It wasn't _special._ It was _awful._

 

Somehow, Kylo had convinced them both that he was far more experienced than he was. His infatuation with Hux proved to be his downfall, running his mouth to boast about a sexual prowess he simply didn't have, and when the time came to prove it...he failed. Miserably.

 

Things began with the sort of anxious, excited undressing that Kylo had expected, and maybe that was the _only_ part of their night that went the way he wanted.

 

Getting his mouth on Hux’s cock wasn’t exactly planned, but at some point it must have just felt like the right thing to do, hands tugging at the General’s trousers to grant him what he wanted most. Well...not _most_ but close to it, eagerly swallowing him to the root and promptly gagging when he pushed too far, face blotchy and tear-stained. It must have been too much for Hux, who begged him to stop and shoved him away like a captive fighting for his freedom. It left Kylo reeling, astounded at how he could manage to screw up a blowjob, but so long as Hux was still willing, he wasn’t about to back out on his promise to fuck him properly--the way he claimed he would, the way he was cursing himself for now, when it felt like so much more was on the line than he was prepared for.

 

But when he was finally given the opportunity to make good on his promise, Kylo might as well have thrown it out the nearest airlock.

 

Hux grimaced and gasped, his face pressed into his pillow and his breathing shaky as he struggled to take more than Kylo had prepped him for with fumbling, clumsy hands. Hux barely had time to adjust--and surely no time to enjoy it--before Kylo was already climaxing.

 

He sheepishly offered his own hands, his body, _anything_ , desperate to get Hux off, to give him _some_ small modicum of pleasure to make up for his own abysmal performance. But Hux hastily declined, and his heart sank. He was such a poor lover, Hux didn't even trust him not to screw that up, too, and he wasn't sure he could blame him. A quick glance told him that Hux’s erection hadn't been able to withstand the discomfort, his neglected cock only half-hard and wilting fast.

 

Kylo was quick to climb out of bed after that, mumbling an apology that was meant for everything and nothing in particular, and absolutely refusing to let himself look at Hux. Perhaps it wasn't subtle, shame burning hot and bright in his cheeks, but it was better than losing his composure entirely if he looked into Hux’s eyes and didn't like what he found there.

 

Hux sat upright as he tugged his clothes on. He murmured Kylo’s name--Kylo, who barely even heard it and had no desire to wonder if it was a plea to stay or merely an expression of his disappointment.

 

One more apology, words half-formed, voice shaking. And he was gone.

 

\--------

 

The following night, they were supposed to have dinner together.

 

They ate together most nights, unless Hux had more pressing business. It was a routine that Kylo found himself enjoying more than he cared to admit, craving the General’s company in the sort of way that demanded nothing of either of them. Some nights they were almost completely silent, and that was okay. Some nights, nothing really needed to be said.

 

They'd shared their meals long before their relationship became physical, but as Kylo sat in his quarters, still wallowing in his own mortification, he wondered if they would survive this, too.

 

Maybe they would, if he was lucky. But he wasn't going to risk ruining Hux’s evening for a second night in a row, not when he was in such a poor mood. If he still had a chance to salvage things, sulking over dinner wasn't going to do him any favors. So when the General sent him a message asking if he was still coming, he did the most mature, reasonable thing he could think of.

 

He lied and said he wasn't feeling well.

 

\--------

 

Kylo knew he couldn't avoid the problem forever, of course he couldn't. That would mean avoiding Hux, and that wasn't something he really wanted, let alone the fact that it would be next to impossible to actually do.

 

No, he was an adult. Hux was an adult. They were two fully-grown men who wanted to be in a relationship. Surely they could work things out. Maybe Hux would accept his apology and find it in his heart to help him out, with….lessons? Sex lessons?

 

Kylo groaned aloud, face buried in his hands as he contemplated his own ridiculousness.

 

It was going on day two since The Incident, and he found himself eyeing his comlink like it was a poisonous creature waiting to strike with Hux’s next message. Maybe it would be a rather benign inquiry, asking if Kylo was feeling well enough to join him this time. Maybe it would be less kind than that.

 

But as minutes turned to hours with no message, he began dreading something far worse: Hux wasn't going to extend an invitation at all.

 

Kylo turned the device over and over in his hands, fingers twitchy as he tried to resist temptation. Temptation to _what_ , exactly? Message Hux? Apologize? Spill his guts out and confess that he'd been a bumbling virgin the whole time? _Oh and by the way, what's for dinner?_

 

No. Absolutely not.

 

If Kylo was going to make amends for his horrid performance, for his _lies,_ he could start by proving he was actually a _man_ , and not the sulky teenager he's been acting like. He wasn't going to hide anymore. Hux deserved the whole truth, and he shouldn't have to glean it from a novel-length text message.

 

Emboldened by his own shaky pep-talk, Kylo stood up and retrieved his helmet, sliding it back down over his head so he could make the trek to Hux’s quarters. But before he could even leave his own room, the doors hissed and gave way, parting to let none other than Armitage Hux inside.

 

Kylo froze where he stood, his chest tightening almost painfully in his surprise. Sure, he'd been feeling brave enough to go confront Hux, but that would have been on his own terms. Suddenly he was thrown for a loop, staring blankly up at Hux and forgetting he still had his mask in place.

 

“I'm--sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?”

 

Hux’s brow was drawn together, gloved hands gripping nervously at each other. He seemed very obviously uncomfortable and maybe that was more surprising than anything.

 

Kylo opened his mouth to answer, to express his confusion, and finally realized he should probably take his blasted helmet off. Hasty hands unclasped the releases, pulling it up and off, one running through his hair to tame it while the other cradled the mask against his chest.

 

“No, sorry, I--...I was just about to come find you, actually,” he murmured through a suddenly-dry mouth. It was a struggle to be honest when it seemed so much easier to lie. But watching Hux stand so timidly in front of him when he normally exuded nothing but power and confidence, he knew he deserved better.

 

“Oh,” was all Kylo got in response. A single syllable that somehow managed to flit across eight different inflections.

 

Hux seemed to relax a little--just a bit--and then fell right back into that chasm of discomfort as his eyes darted away.

 

Kylo was quiet for a moment, wondering if Hux had planned on saying anything else. Surely he was there for a reason. Whatever it was, he wanted to know. But it felt as though Hux was having just as difficult a time trying to find his words as Kylo was, and he couldn't decide if that was a relief or cause for concern.

 

Kylo opened his mouth and closed it again.

 

He should just apologize and get it all over with. Like ripping off a bandage and revealing whether or not the wound beneath it was healed. But he didn't. He couldn't. Not yet.

 

“Since you're here, I'll just--” Kylo murmured half to himself and half to Hux as he moved to set his helmet back down. He ran another restless hand through his hair and cursed himself for the fidgety nature he worked so hard to hide. And after another beat, he added, “Would you like to come in? Actually _in_?”

 

He gave a weak gesture, one hand outstretched toward his humble living quarters. They weren't as comfortable as Hux’s, but that was by his own request. When he'd first taken up residency aboard the _Finalizer_ , he didn't want any special treatment or coddling. He only regretted that now, if it meant Hux was less likely to visit him.

 

Luckily, Hux didn't seem too put-off by the offer, or the mediocre furniture, and Kylo swore he could see a flicker of a smile grace his lips before he nodded and stepped forward.

 

Kylo felt another uncertain ripple tease his spine, torn between fear and relief as Hux took a seat on his couch. Another mental pep-talk, trying desperately to convince himself that this was a step in the right direction. They were going to _talk_ . Like _adults_.

 

Not quite willing to take the empty spot beside Hux, he sat across from him instead, shifting to make himself comfortable in the chair as if it was even possible for him to truly relax. He probably just looked ridiculous.

 

“I think we should--”

 

“Hux I--”

 

Both men froze, words tumbling over each other at the same time. Another shaky smile graced Hux’s features and Kylo felt a laugh bubble up from his chest despite himself. _Ridiculous._

 

When Hux spoke up again, he was uninterrupted.

 

“Why don't you go first?”

 

Kylo gave a little nod, finding no reason to argue. It was finally time to rip that bandage off.

 

“I was going to find you because I wanted to apologize. For the other night.”

 

Kylo suddenly found himself wishing he hadn't tossed his helmet aside, eager for something to occupy his hands. Instead they folded themselves into tight fists, resting atop each thigh as he ventured a quick glance up at Hux. His expression felt so painfully _open_ , confusion and uncertainty written across his face in a way that made his chest ache. It felt a vulnerability he didn't deserve to be trusted with.

 

“For missing dinner?”

 

Kylo shook his head, his gaze slipping away once more. There was no going back now.

 

“No--no, for the...the night before that. I wanted to apologize for what was...undoubtedly the worst sex you've ever had. I’m sorry for lying to you, for tricking you into thinking it _wasn't_ going to be the worst sex you've ever had. I said all those things, I made you believe I actually knew what the hell I was doing, up until I was...actually trying to do it.” Kylo swallowed hard enough even Hux could probably hear it. Paused a single, heavy beat. “I don't know, maybe it's a weird thing to apologize for, being a lousy fuck. But--... _stars_ you didn't even come! It was over for me in two seconds and I ran off and left you there and--...yeah, that's something to apologize for, I think.”

 

_“_ Kylo…”

 

_“Kriff,_ Hux, I might have even hurt you, and I didn't think to stop and ask? I didn't know what I was doing! I could have--”

 

“ _Kylo._ ”

 

Ren finally went silent, eyes wide as they flickered back up to face Hux. He held his breath without even meaning to, willing Hux to say something, anything.

 

“I did.”

 

“...You did what?”

 

Hux pursed his lips and glanced away again, looking remarkably like a guilty pet.

 

“...I did come,” he finally answers, cringing a little as if he can’t believe the words he’s forcing himself to say.

 

Kylo doesn’t say anything for a moment, his brain struggling to catch up, to make the leap between what he’d been rambling about and what Hux has just told him. It doesn’t make any sense. Had he really been that lucky, that he managed to give Hux an orgasm despite his fumbling? Words fail him, and he must look baffled enough for Hux to have mercy on him and continue.

 

“Kylo, did you--...did you really think you were that terrible? Is that why you ran off the way you did?”  

 

Kylo’s expression shifts from confusion to something more like disbelief.

 

“Well--shit, of course I did, why else would I apologize and disappear for two days? Hux, I was _horrible_ !” He meets the General’s gaze for one second, then two, studying him the sort of way he would when he wanted to know what was on Hux’s mind without actually delving _into_ it. Something finally clicks. “...Wasn’t I?”

 

Hux laughs, a weak noise punched out of him like it wasn’t intentional. It doesn’t even sound that particularly amused.

 

“Gods, no! I can’t believe you--... Here I was, thinking you’d left because of _me_.”

 

Finally, Hux seems a little more relieved, sinking into the couch as much as the stiff cushions allow. But Kylo isn’t there yet, his confusion still as present as ever and unwilling to let him relax.

 

“Why would I have left because of you?”

 

Kylo tries to search Hux’s gaze again before it slips away, that guilty look returning to him.

 

“Are you really going to make me say it? Again?”

 

Kylo feels his own gaze narrow. _Again?_ He racks his brain for something to piece together, desperate to finally understand.

 

“I think you'll have to, because I still don't understand. You barely let me touch you, Hux! When I--...used my mouth, and you--”

 

“And I made you stop because I didn’t want to finish in two seconds like some...floundering adolescent who’d never been touched before?” Hux has more of a pained look about him now, obviously not thrilled about what he’s admitting. Meanwhile Kylo probably just looked like a gaping fish. Finally, it was all starting to make sense. “I--...I don’t know, I panicked at the thought of getting off so quickly but it didn’t do me much good, did it? Like I’ve got some awful hair-trigger… Kylo, I came before _you_ did. I was mortified.”

 

“Is that why you refused to let me help?”

 

“Wasn’t much to help, was there?” Hux gave another weak snort, hands twisting around themselves again. “I couldn’t tell if you knew, or if you were just trying to be nice and pretend like you didn’t. I thought, if there was the chance to hide it...to maintain some tiny bit of my dignity, I’d take it. I didn’t pause to wonder if it would give you the wrong impression.”

 

Their eyes finally meet again, and Kylo isn’t sure he’s ever seen Hux’s gaze look so damn _soft_. There’s something unreadable in that pale color, sympathy and affection and guilt and shame all swirling around each other and it makes his heart clench inside his ribs.

 

“Hux…”

 

Kylo feels the words rising to the tip of his tongue, but they don't tumble over. He isn't even quite sure he knows what those words are going to be before they've already torn their way out of him and that feels like too big of a risk. He closes his mouth again, just to be safe, and makes a bold move. He gets up from his chair and takes a seat beside Hux instead.

 

Hux watches him every step of the way, looking wary and hopeful all at once.

 

“You still haven't said if you'll accept my apology,” he says once he turns to Hux, both seated a bit awkwardly but barely an inch between them. It's an improvement nonetheless, and Hux isn't shying away from him, which is even better.

 

“But I already told you, there's nothing to apol--”

 

Kylo lifts a hand to stop him mid-sentence, gently clamping his palm over Hux’s mouth with a fond smirk.

 

“Yes, there is. Maybe I'm not as awful in bed as I thought I was, and maybe I was too afraid to think straight, but I still ran out on you like an asshole, and that's...it's not what I wanted. It’s not what you deserve. So, I'm sorry.”

 

Slowly, he pulls his hand away. Nervousness pools in his belly and he can see Hux studying his face, silent for a long moment before a grin flirts with the corners of his lips.

 

“If I accept your apology, does that mean we can try again?”

 

A smile blooms across Kylo’s face, relief flooding him, overwhelming him to the point that he can't help but lean forward to steal a kiss--and Hux is right there to meet him.

He's a little breathless when he finally replies:

 

“If you accept my apology, I might just have you right on this couch.”

 

He wasn't sure he'd ever heard Hux forgive someone so quickly in his entire life.

 

\-------

 

In the end though, they don't quite cave right there on the sofa. They manage to untangle themselves from each other long enough to move to Kylo’s bed, and Kylo can't find it in him to mind.

 

The brief intermission forces them to talk again, to remind them that there was a reason their first time together ended so horribly. Kylo knows he’s still lacking experience and Hux flushes bright red when they realize he's already so hard it hurts, arousal flooding his system after a few heated kisses and some clumsy groping.

 

They come to the conclusion that maybe Hux should be in control this time, climbing into Kylo’s lap as soon as they'd undressed and _yes,_ this was a very good decision.

 

Kylo still opens him up, forcing himself to slow down, to let Hux guide him as he presses slick fingers into the tight clutch of his body. He touches him so reverently now, desperate to learn from his mistakes and treat him with the gentleness he deserves.

 

(And if it _isn't_ always gentleness that Hux wants, well...that will have to be lesson number two.)

 

By the time Hux sinks back down into his lap, around his _cock_ , Kylo feels like he might cry with relief, and it isn’t just the physical kind. He feels the sort of way they should have when they fell into bed two nights ago. It’s a bittersweet feeling, mourning the wasted opportunity but basking in the warmth of it now, grateful that their silly miscommunication didn’t cost them more than it did.

 

It could have been so much worse but he isn’t thinking about that now. All he can focus on is the feeling of Hux’s bare skin against his own, overheated and sweat-slick, muscles trembling with each little shift. Kylo steadies him with both hands, fingers splayed wide across his hip, his back, over his shoulder, touching him anywhere and everywhere--except the one part of him that would surely tip Hux over the edge.

 

But the longer they go on, the more he has to wonder if Hux would even need it. Kylo can feel it like a vibration in the air, the way Hux is constantly a second away from shaking apart in his arms, and Kylo is hardly even _doing_ anything. He wants to feel guilty about it, as if he’s gone from being an over-enthusiastic lover to a boring one, but instead he just feels oddly powerful. It’s a misplaced sentiment, he knows. But in the moment, Hux is moaning, whimpering his name, shuddering every time he presses back down into the cradle of his hips and Kylo wants nothing more than to possess him entirely.

 

“There’s something else I need to apologize for,” he murmurs, voice rough, sticking to the back of his throat.

 

Hux opens his eyes to look at him, mouth parted around a shaky breath, but he doesn’t speak.

 

“I’m sorry for--...giving you the impression that I’d be disgusted with you, for what happened. I’m sorry for making you think that even for one fucking second, I wouldn’t want someone like you, because if I’d known...Hux, if I’d known, it would have been the sexiest thing in the entire galaxy.”

 

Hux moans like he’s in pain, eyes squeezed shut again, and Kylo can see the flush rising to color his cheeks in a shade almost as brilliant as his hair.

 

“Kylo,” he murmurs, shaking his head a little, “You don’t have to say that, I know I’m--...”

 

“Sensitive? Yes. And intelligent. Powerful. _Beautiful_.”

 

Kylo answers around a grin, his smirk only growing as he finally _finally_ curls a hand around Hux’s neglected length. His grip is weak, but the contact still pulls a shocked noise from his lover, who slams his hips back down and earns a rattling groan from Kylo in return.

 

Hux says his name again, a desperate plea as he scrambles to clutch at the hand wrapped around him. He tugs weakly at it and _whines_.

 

“No--no, Kylo _please_ \--”

 

“I hope you aren’t asking me to stop, because I don’t want to stop…”

 

Kylo tightens his grip a little, hand twisting around his cock and Hux cries out. He’s still shaking his head but his hand slips down to curl around Kylo’s wrist instead, clutching at him so hard it nearly hurts. It doesn’t feel much like he’s trying to pry him away anymore.

 

“I missed it the first time, Hux… Wish I could have seen it. Wish I could have seen the way you fell apart the second I got inside you. You wouldn’t deny me again, would you?”

 

Hux shook his head almost wildly, thrashing in Kylo’s lap, hair tumbling over his face like a veil over damp eyes.

 

“No-- _no,”_ he gasps, as if Kylo might actually stop if he says yes. “I won’t. Kylo, I won’t--”

 

“ _Then come for me_.”

 

And Hux does.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this self-indulgent un-beta'd nonsense. If you didn't hate it, come say hi to me on [tumblr](http://theearlgreyalpha.tumblr.com)!


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